Struggle to breathe
One foot beneath the waves
I saw the sea as a lake in my dreams
Now I concede
Drowning so reckless
The ocean and all of the life it contains
is much bigger than me
Deeper than me
What should I think,
if I should die tonight,
of empty religion or my family?
What will they write
upon finding my body?
You said not to worry but left this in ink:
"This is probably akin to what dying feels like
and I am no longer interested"
What's the point of making myself
a stranger to all I love?
All my life I've buried it down
It felt so much like drowning until now
like drowning until now
Of all the guilt I hold
Malice feels the worst
Before my story's told
Forgive my conscience first
for nights spent feeling empty
with a stranger in my bed
or sitting in the closet
with a gun pressed to my head
"This is probably akin to what dying feels like"
What's the point of making myself
a stranger to all I love?
All my life I've buried it down
It felt so much like drowning until now
like drowning until now
I have learned to love this song
and I have learned to love my friends
I will learn to love myself
before I die, if nothing else
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